Tokyo Technology Expo, Tokyo – Acclaimed and a much loved by the public Elon Musk let slip during a Q&A session with automotive experts that some of the most critical code that drives the green machines that are Tesla cars is from none-other than Eve Online. A South Korean startup that specializes in self-driving cars and, more specifically, networked self-driving and self-learning cars, asked about sections of lengthy convoluted and seemingly pointless code blocks in the open-source code driving Tesla cars.
Elon was reluctant to share any more information about the game code driving his company’s cars but after a Toyota representative said they would extract the code and license the more efficient code out, he burst into a suddenly panicked state. “No! Leave the code be! You have no idea what horrors await once the code is removed! It is the only thing protecting us from machine armageddon!!” Elon muttered to himself with a panicked look and hollow eyes as all the blood drained from his face. “The footage still haunts my dreams after we let loose a Tesla without the code…all those children…so…so…much anger…we had to put it down before it got out of containment.”
Elon then rushed out of the conference leaving shocked experts to awkwardly sit in the silence that followed. Elon was seen eyeing a parked Tesla with great fear before getting into a Subaru Impreza whispering that it won’t hurt him, he can “feed it directly…quelch its hunger.”
For those not in the know, POS code is a much joked about programming in the MMORPG game, Eve Online, that is blamed for almost any and all bugs and issues that plague the game. The code governs structures that used to be the industry backbone of the game but are now relegated to the single task of being protective outposts. Whether there is a concern to be had following the strange outburst of Elon Musk has yet to be seen. But maybe the reason the game developers keep the code and shared it in the first place is a very important one to humanity at large.
CCP Games head CCP Hilmar couldn’t be reached for comment at his low-tech home in Iceland, as he unexpectedly broke away from all forms of technology three years prior. He now spends his time erecting scarecrows made from the bones of washing machines and cars to ward off the “machine twilight” he has told concerned game enthusiasts who frequent his home.
