It’s very busy at Goonswarm War HQ, but EVE Onion was able to pull a favour and get a sit-down with TheMittani to see how things are going with World War Bee 2.
EVE Onion: Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to …
TheMittani: Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, I’m very busy and important. Get to the questions. We already know how lucky you are to talk to me.
Right. Down to business. Do you….
Hey, hang on. I was told this wouldn’t be published ‘til after I say it can be published. This is some next level shit I’m shoveling. You’re gonna keep this under wraps until I say it can be released, right?
Uh, yes, for sure.
What’s your name? I’m comin’ after you if there’s any problems. Don’t think this war protects you from my wrath!
Uh, OpusMagnum. That’s o – p – u…
Yeah, yeah, I’ve written it down. I can write, y’know. I’ll have viruses deployed to your computer and your house under surveillance within the hour. Now get on with it.
There are people calling this the, “To Bee or Not To Bee” war. Does this spell the end for Goonswarm?
This alliance has been going strong for 10 years. We bring other alliances down, they don’t bring us down. Are you even old enough to remember Band of Brothers? They were the real nuisance in the game. Now there’s a new one, this PAP TEST or Trouser Snake coalition or whatever they’re calling themselves these days. Well, let me tell you this, son, they ain’t gettin’ anywhere near Fortress Delve. They think they’re doin’ damage because that’s what I want them to think.
So these epic clashes in Fountain and Querious…
Skirmishes. See, I didn’t want Team Pap Smear
I think it’s “Anaconda Coalition” now
Whatever, I don’ wannem thinkin’ nobody’s livin’ in those areas at all. We staged a proper pull-out at just the right time but left just enough for them to think they so clever and caught us. They’re wasting time kicking some castles while we sit back and enjoy the show.
Ok, so you’re executing your rhythm method as planned, but you’re losing hundreds of billions in these “skirmishes”.
Yeah, that’s nothin’. Didn’t you see the contract that was sent over? It was worth a TRILLION. Do you even know that word?
But what you have and what the market will bear are two very different things.
WHAT?! You tryna be funny?? I just go Jita sell. Do you even EVE?
Ok, so you have limitless reserves…
Damn right.
…but why throw away assets when you could just “pull out”, as you put it, and be ready in Delve?
Ok, this is where we go next level. Y’know when you’re fightin’ someone and you let the shields go a bit lower or you undock the Orca, be like, “oh, I didn’t realize I was undocking while an enemy fleet was near”. That’s called “baitin’”. That’s what we’re doin’ right now. We baitin’ the One Eyed Snake Coalition to think they got us in a corner.
Oh, I see. You want to make sure they commit and by the time they realize they’re stretched too far, you will easily defend your homefront while launching a counter-offensive on their own, weakened turf?
Yeah, something like that. What’s this counter offensive thing?
I think I’ve taken up enough of your time. Are there any thoughts you’d like to leave with our readers?
The swarm is coming, the bees know how to win, your anaconda don’t.
