Saving New Eden One Ore Pack at a Time

I don’t like all the violent PvP nonsense that ‘modern’ society imposes upon CCP’s vision of the future. EVE Online is more than just a computer game, it is a statement about where we want to be in another twenty millenia. Do we really want to be squabbling like a bunch of children, bickering over veldspar. Are we mere primitives, who kill each other over trivial PI commodities? Aren’t we better than this? 

CCP has given us a choice. On the one hand, we can continue moving toward a dystopian future in which space terrorists are free to massacre and kill at will. A future in which capsuleers cast a pall of fear and terror. On the other hand, we could move toward a better tomorrow, in which the progressive forces of harmony are allowed to resonate across the galaxy. In such a future, capsuleers would be hailed as heroes, much like modern day social workers. 

The revisionist forces of virulent internet fascism seek to spread their trollish culture across New Eden, laughing with bemusement as peaceful miners and industrialists are murdered in cold blood. However, some of us have started to fight back. On the test server, Singularity, we are creating a new society which is built upon mutual goodwill and a desire to promote the common good. We frequently run mining fleets which are free from griefer guild harassment, and we share the profits equally amongst all. There are even a few individuals who for whatever reason are unable to join fleets, and we nevertheless give them a fair share, because it is not our place to cast judgment upon others. Every member of the community is valued, and none are left behind. 

I have recently been in talks with CCP, and representatives from Pearl Abyss, to discuss how we might best introduce our peaceful ways into the barbarian wastelands of the so-called ‘Tranquility’ server. One of the best ideas has been the idea of the Ore Pack. Currently, miners are forced to obtain ore by warping to a belt, where they are almost immediately set upon by rabid PvP basement dwellers. Driven into a frenzy, these wild-eyed ruffians fail to even consider the possibility of economic collaboration, and they begin shooting wildly as if they themselves were an NPC rat. Fortunately, the Ore Pack will solve this problem, once and for all. 

I’m pleased to announce that, in partnership with the Sisters of EVE, mercy is at hand for all who are oppressed by no-life space bully losers. For just $15 a month, CCP will deliver directly to your hangar a shipment of vital ores. To add a little excitement, each shipment has been randomized, and a few lucky winners will find their hangar filled to the brim with exotic specimens and rare ‘gold’ minerals. For an additional $5 per month, you will also receive a unique free fully researched blueprint. If you sign onto the premium plan, with a six month subscription, you can also conduct PI without leaving your hangar. NPC haulers will bring commodities to you, and all items will be fully insured.