JITA — CONCORD officials declared the two-week Operation Avalon a resounding success on Thursday, celebrating the destruction of more than 7,000 EDENCOM Director vessels while declining to clarify which side of the conflict was actually meant to emerge victorious.
“Operation Avalon achieved every objective we set for it,” said CONCORD spokesperson Tovil Renn, reading from a statement that listed no objectives. “The enemy was engaged, the enemy was destroyed, and the enemy has now taken quiet refuge in Caldari space, where they will be our problem no longer.”
The operation, a two-front war that drew capsuleers from across New Eden, concluded with the surviving warclones granted asylum in the Hirtamon system. Analysts note that the asylum bears a striking resemblance to a refugee camp, albeit one armed with dreadnoughts and a very firm opinion about the Caldari State’s tax policy.
“Call it a haven, call it a win, call it whatever you want,” said fleet commander Aria Vex, whose own ship was among the 7,000 destroyed. “I just know I woke up in a clone vat in Caldari space with a parking ticket and a pamphlet about the benefits of the State’s pension system.”
## CONCORD Confirms the War Is Over, Declines to Say Who Won
In a follow-up press conference, CONCORD fielded questions about the operation’s strategic outcome with the enthusiasm of a pilot explaining why their insurance claim was denied.
“Victory is a complex, multidimensional concept,” Renn said. “We prefer to focus on the tangible results: 7,000 enemy vessels destroyed, zero enemy objectives achieved, and a permanent new population of heavily armed refugees in a region that was previously quite peaceful.”
The warclones, for their part, have reportedly begun establishing permanent infrastructure in Hirtamon, including a market hub, a shipyard, and a small monument to the 7,000 Directors who made the relocation possible.
“Honestly, the accommodations are better than what we had before,” said warclone representative Kael Dorn. “The Caldari are very organized. They gave us a welcome packet, a list of local regulations, and a sternly worded notice about not shooting the customs office.”
CONCORD has announced that Operation Avalon’s successor, Operation B, will begin “whenever we figure out what the first one was supposed to accomplish.”
