Caption: Special Investigators analyze a seized computer from one of the rooms
Reykjavik, Iceland. Icelandic Authorities earlier today raided 27 hotel rooms of newly arrived tourists to the great entertainment of holiday goers and hotel staff. A viral video surfaced online following the raids of a naked man being dragged out of his room by five heavily geared special forces officers. Despite the man being overpowered five to one, his resistance has been commended by many online commentators and news readers.
During the altercation the man screamed continuously about his “moon roid just popped” and “he needs to huff some gas” whilst fighting tooth and nail before being thrown into the back of a police vehicle. Banging and muffled screams could be heard before the video cuts off. A man clearly in need of intervention many commented on various social media platforms.
Special Forces liaison Bernt Andrjes gave an interview to the assembled press later this afternoon with a great aura of embarrassment following extensive questioning and analysis of the tourists’ laptops and mobile phones.
“On behalf of the people of Iceland, I extend my sincere apologies to the 35 individuals arrested earlier today. Whilst you were not in contravention of any laws, we were compelled to take action following a disturbing increase in talks of weapons dealings, drug manufacturing, and uranium enrichment on Icelandic internet traffic originating from your hotel rooms. We applaud the dedication and fervor you have for your game, Eve Online, but we suggest restraint in the language used in the future to avoid unfortunate misunderstandings. In the future, we trust, that CCP Games, will provide us with pre-warning before another player event convenes to avoid similar events transpiring again.”
This latest altercation between Eve Online players and national security authorities is not the first. The CIA was caught in a similarly embarrassing situation having spent over $10 million tracking down an exceptionally dedicated Eve Online player who also engaged in hobbyist weapons, drugs, and nuclear reactor manufacturing with a spirit rivaling that of mainstream Actors.
Should have been screaming, “Just let me dock up!”
oops sorry guys