news

Quadrant 4 Ends Scarcity with the Introduction of Solar Interaction

Dedicated white-hat hackers have uncovered files revealing that EVE’s Quadrant 4 will lead up to player-made stargates by means of materials gathered through Solar...

In Effort to Promote Positivity, CCP Wants to Disable the Dislike Button

Did you enjoy playing EVE today? Yes you did! That’s the sentiment that CCP Games is promoting in their latest update to EVE Online, set...

Man insists spending 40 hours a week shifting through excel spreadsheets isn’t work.

EVE players insist spending hours doing mind-numbingly boring labor isn’t work, but “fun”, despite having all the characteristics of the worst jobs on the...

FFXIV and EVE Online – An Unexpected Connection

On 13 April 2021, CCP removed empty asteroid belts from space after having stripped them of asteroids several months earlier. Frustrated players were unsatisfied...

EVE Onion Takes On Air NPE

With the exciting news of a coming revitalized new player experience (dubbed AIR NPE by CCP), we at EVE Onion decided to collaboratively give...

Goon Commanders Promise No Retribution Against Onion Reporters in Delve

The last few weeks have been a political and military disaster for PAPI leaders as their early and sudden withdrawal from the warzone ahead...

Dear Diary, it’s me, Villy…

You suck! I hate you, you miserable wretch. You are so bad at this game. You never accomplished anything of interest or significance. All you...

AT Rules Shakeup

CCP thrilled their EVE Online player-base with a much anticipated announcement video last week. After being canceled for two years due to budget and...

Saving New Eden One Ore Pack at a Time

I don't like all the violent PvP nonsense that 'modern' society imposes upon CCP's vision of the future. EVE Online is more than just...

Dunk Dinkle Exposed! Secret Goonswarm Leader Rushes to Damage Control.

In a tumultuous turn of events, it appears that beloved Brave Newbies personality, Dunk Dinkle, has been exposed as a secret leader of Goonswarm...

Happy to be Back in the Office

As COVID-19 restrictions ease across most of the regions most heavily populated by EVE players, CCP struggles to deal with unanticipated consequences.  Accustomed to "working...

Eve Onion to Cut Expenses by Firing Staff, Reprinting Whatever Matterall Says on Talking in Stations

In order to keep up with the rising costs of managing an online fake news website, CEO OpusMagnum has made the executive decision to...

BREAKING NEWS: CCP Games busted for attempted COVID-19 Grant Scam

An undercover investigator claims to have evidence that CCP Games executives are deliberately tanking revenues to participate in a grant program by the Icelandic...

CCP RELEASES THE ELITE PLAYER RETENTION PACK

Posted as a notice on the front door of CCP Headquarters this morning was an announcement of the release for the latest EVE PLEX...

Players are Happier if They Don’t Know Who The Mittani Is, Study Finds

H.S.—A study performed by the Amarr Research Institute found a strong link between happiness and not knowing who The Mittani is. "We found that players...

Null Bloc Line Members Actually Enjoy Fleet for the Entire Form-up Period

Delve - After 3 sleepless weeks of false-alarm pings in preparation for “the big one”, line members from both TAPI+ and The Imperium formed...