news

NPC Achieves Top Rank In EVE Online PvP Event, Marking First Time CCP Acknowledged Drone Issues

NEW EDEN — In what experts are calling the most significant development in artificial intelligence since the inception of capsuleer warfare, a non-player character has officially outranked thousands of...

CCP Introduces New Fun Metric To Determine When Players Are Actually Having Good Time

AMSTERDAM—In a groundbreaking move that has left the EVE Online playerbase questioning their entire existence, CCP Games announced Tuesday the introduction of a revolutionary...

CCP Unveils New AI Designed To Handle All Player Complaints Before Theyre Even Filed

REYKJAVIK - In a groundbreaking development that industry analysts are calling either genius or completely unhinged, CCP Games has unveiled a new artificial intelligence...

Breaking News: ‘Bazooka’ Weapon Threatens Entire Titan Fleet After 7-Day-Old Pilot Achieves What CCP Couldn’t

JITA - In a stunning development that has sent shockwaves through New Eden, intelligence analysts have confirmed the existence of a devastating new weapon...

Capsuleer Declares “100% Safe” Route, Gets Ganked Instantly

Jita-based optimist “Safety Steve” proudly shared his new gank-proof courier route on r/eve. Within 15 minutes, his fully loaded Obelisk exploded in highsec. “CONCORD was...

CCP Announces “Downtime Simulator” Expansion, Now You Too Can Experience Daily Maintenance Year-Round

In a nostalgic twist on New Eden’s beloved daily ritual, CCP Games has announced its latest innovation: Downtime Simulator, an expansion that recreates the...

New App “EVE Whisper” Launches, Promising Anonymous Intel Sharing

In a development more scandalous than a botched bitter vet alliance takeover, a new app called EVE Whisper has entered the New Eden ecosystem,...

CCP Games Announces “EVE: The Cooking Show”

In a move more unexpected than a solo Rorqual in lowsec, CCP Games has unveiled EVE: The Cooking Show, an in-game feature designed to...

CCP Games Unveils “EVE: The Musical”

In a surprise announcement, CCP Games has revealed its latest artistic endeavor: EVE: The Musical, a Broadway-style production designed to chronicle the emotional turbulence...

Mineral Price Index Raising Concerns

In the vast expanse of New Eden, where spaceships roam and fortunes are made, one profession stands out for its sheer simplicity and profitability:...

Americans Find No Escape from Reality in Their Dystopian Video Game as Real Life Gets Even More Dystopian

In a shocking turn of events, Americans playing the popular MMO sci-fi game EVE Online are finding it increasingly difficult to escape their realities....

Eve Onion Wins The Scope Off the Hypernet, Declares Itself Galactic News Overlord

In a shocking turn of events, Eve Onion, the satirical news organization of New Eden, has won The Scope off the HyperNet Relay. The...

Eve Online Devs Too Busy Playing to Work On the Game

In a turn of events that should surprise nobody, the Game Masters of EVE Online have gone rogue, not to fight bugs or balance...

Blood Raider Priest Under Fire for Diluting Sacrificial Blood with Quafe

In a shocking twist that has left the galaxy's most nefarious cultists and capsuleers alike in utter disbelief, a high-ranking Blood Raider priest is...

CCP Games Explores Remote Teams in Response to Volcano Threat

Sources report that CCP Games is evaluating remote employment options in light of what is anticipated to be ongoing and escalating threats of volcanic...

Live, Laugh, Love, Align – The Perils of Marrying an Eve Online Player

Tonight was going to be another lonely night shared only between Jessica and the cast of Grey's Anatomy. Her husband was in another room,...

CCP Games Showcases ‘Pay Your Colors’ Personalized Ship Skins in Development

In a move that should have stunned no one in the EVE community, CCP Games announced at the recently concluded Eve Fanfest in Las...