news

Strait of Dudreda Propaganda War Escalates; One Side Accidentally Uses CCP Promotional Video, Other Side Publishes 4,000-Word Treatise on Maritime Law

**DUDREDA** - Tensions in the Strait have reached a cultural breaking point. The ongoing blockade in the Strait of Dudreda has entered what...

CCP Issues 47th Warning to Known Input Broadcaster; Community Starts Betting Pool on Whether He’ll Be Banned Before Server Shutdown

**VALE** - The most consequential forum thread of the week has reached 96 comments. User HuntBuzzR successfully killed the Rorqual of a player...

EVE Online Community Celebrates July 4th the Only Way It Knows How: By Not Doing Anything and Having a Very Good Time Doing It

**THE GAME** - The silence is deafening. The Fourth of July in EVE Online arrived not with fireworks, not with fleet actions, and...

CCP Open-Sources Carbon Engine; Community Immediately Finds Working Space Tetris, 15-Year-Old Easter Eggs, and Code Comments Saying “TODO: Fix This Never”

**FAN SITE** - Three separate teams are now building third-party clients. One is crashing on purpose. In a move that CCP has described...

Ganker Posts Killmail Expecting Tears; Victim Responds With 45-Minute Tutorial on Emotional Maturity

JITA - Local channel is still recovering.A ganker operating under the increasingly ironic pseudonym "TearsForFears" intercepted Mike Azariah's Bowhead on a 49-jump...

BREAKING: Fenris Creations Open-Sources Carbon Engine; Jita Local Immediately Forked Into 14,000 Unplayable Passion Projects

Developers promise the code is "production-ready," which is EVE speak for "we have no idea what this does either." REYKJAVIK - In a move that...

BREAKING: Fenris Creations Open-Sources Carbon Engine; First Community Fork Immediately Adds Battle Pass

Fenris Creations Open-Sources Carbon Engine; First Community Fork Immediately Adds Battle PassREYKJAVIK — In a move hailed by developers and deeply feared by players,...

BREAKING: EVE Online’s Largest Scam in History Reportedly Only Netted Scammer $400 And A Sense Of Achievement

NEW EDEN -- A massive in-game Ponzi scheme that saw a high-profile EVE Online corporation promising new players 400% returns on their "strategic investment...

BREAKING: EVE Online Player Discovers He Has Been Playing Wrong Game For 14 Years, Actually Thought He Was Playing Starfield

JITA Local capsuleer Delet3_Everything confirmed Tuesday that he has been playing EVE Online incorrectly for the past 14 years, having recently realized he had been...

BREAKING: Veteran EVE Player Who Announced He Was Quitting Over Exordium Safezone Spotted Training Newbro In Rookie Help Channel

NEW EDEN — Grandfather Flax, the veteran EVE Online player who posted an 84-page forum manifesto declaring he was ‘fundamentally betraying the sacred PvP...

BREAKING: Fenris Creations Hosts Mandatory War Celebration; Employees Remind Attendees That Attendance Is Technically Voluntary

**REYKJAVIK** - Fenris Creations invited capsuleers to Reykjavik for the official launch celebration of Cradle of War on June 9th, and by...

BREAKING: Fenris Creations Removes 50 Billboards From EVE Online, Replaces Them With 3 That Are Slightly Less Terrible

REYKJAVIK — Fenris Creations has announced the removal of 50 billboard advertisements from rotation across New Eden, replacing them with three new "evergreen, new-player-focused"...

BREAKING: Man Who Spent £6,000 And Called In Sick To Lose Virtual War Says Experience More Stressful Than Actual Life; Alliance Disbands Anyway

James Cunningham, 27, a fleet commander from Hertfordshire, spent approximately £6,000 and hundreds of hours over eight years preparing for what he described as...

Area Man Who Spent £6,000 Skipping Work Says Losing Virtual War ‘More Stressful Than Real Life’; Alliance Disbands Anyway

BREAKING JITA 4-4 — A 27-year-old fleet commander from Hertfordshire who spent six thousand pounds and called in sick to his actual job for a...

Fenris Creations Hosts Mandatory War Celebration; Employees Remind Attendees That Attendance Is Technically Voluntary

REYKJAVIK - Fenris Creations invited capsuleers to Reykjavik for the official launch celebration of Cradle of War on June 9th, and by all accounts,...

Jita Officially Recognized As Separate Sovereign Nation, Caldari Empire Mourns Loss Of Their System

HEGGEM, CALDARI PRIME — In a move that has sent shockwaves through diplomatic circles across New Eden, the system of Jita has been officially...