Delve – Recently, TheMittani apologized over a Discord interview for his seemingly careless remarks regarding certain members of the Imperium Coalition.
“I want to make this clear,” he started “there are certain alliances that think, for whatever reason, they are part of the Imperium. Those alliances are not members. Their membership was never fully confirmed. But that’s OK! I love and value fake members of the Imperium as much as any real member of the Imperium.”
At this point, several diplomatic aides attempted to interrupt TheMittani but he quickly muted their microphones and continued:
“If anyone wants to pretend to be in the Imperium and under the protection of our super-umbrella, I am more than willing to value them as well. This is a community of love and respect after all.”
When pressed for details as to who, exactly, is not part of the coalition, The Mittani responded, “Oh you know, there’s The Initiative, and that impoverished sub-group INIT Mercs. A few others too, whose names escape me. That is not the point. The point is that regardless of whatever misleading statements may have been made as to their membership in the coalition, I hold these fake members in the highest respect! I even have an INIT friend; his name is Keith, I think.”
Diplomats from multiple member alliances typed ALL CAPS messages of dissent in their respective #DIPLO channels before mass-exiting the discord and heading to the nearest source of high-proof alcohol.
“What? What did I say?” asked TheMittani.
“You told everyone that The Initiative is not really part of the Imperium. They are ‘fake members’” responded several bewildered F1 monkeys.
“Is that what I said, or is that what you think you heard?” TheMittani replied. “There seems to be some confusion as to the context of my statements here and I am not sure that people are fully understanding what I said over what they think I said, or wanted to hear me say.” as he activated the Spin-Doctor2000 on his soundboard. “So let’s try and make this very clear. I value The Initiative and its members. I find The Initiative to be an upstanding and engaging group within Eve Online, and I am saddened to see them being bullied and invaded by Test Alliance Please Ignore and their Legacy Coalition cohorts.”
“But you literally just said that you value them, even though they are not really part of the Imperium!” yelled somewhat angry line members who were currently in a fleet commanded by pilots from The Initiative.
“I’m sorry you feel that way, and that your misunderstanding of my statements has caused such emotional trauma. It may be wise for you to remember that this is just a game. We didn’t need the Initiative anyway.”
Multiple Imperium-led media outlets immediately jumped on the statements made by TheMittani, claiming that this was all an elaborate setup by Test Alliance Please Ignore and other members of the Legacy Coalition to trick The Initiative into believing Goonswarm Federation and other alliances from The Imperium would rush to their aid in the event of a war.
