CCP Spends $425 Million on Loot Boxes, Decides to Implement the Idea Into EVE

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Earlier this month, the internet nearly broke when EVE Online developer CCP Games announced that it would soon be acquired by Pearl Abyss. Theories emerged, speculation was rampant, and flame wars are still being fought today over the announcement. It is still a touchy subject, one with minds greater than I are attempting to debate. However, unbeknownst to many, was where the buyout money would be spent.

“As you know, running an online game is basically no cost.” Says CCP Games CEO Hilmar Pétursson. “There was a big debate over where the funds should go.  One suggestion we all liked was from CCP Falcon, who opined we spend all the cash on alcohol. You know, the good stuff. Someone else suggested we move the HQ to the Moon, but we felt that the commute would have been problematic for some employees, and the CSM.”

Unfortunately for the team at CCP, another publisher, EA Games had much more sinister plans for the money. “So, we’ve really been into football here at the office.” says an employee that wished to remain anonymous. “Naturally, someone brought over their copy of FIFA 18, and right away almost everyone got involved. We had an office-wide tournament—the season was going to reset when FIFA 19 came out—so everyone was trying incredibly hard to win. That’s when the money started flying out the window.” Our interviewee is of course referring to “FIFA Ultimate Team Packs” which are glorified loot boxes. “It started innocently enough, somebody bought one just to try it out, and got a top-tier goalie. Suddenly it became an arms race of ridiculous proportions.”

Sure enough, just two weeks later, every single cent of the $425 million acquired from the acquisition was gone. “That made me realize something,” Hilmar says “this is such a great option for players to have, we need to implement it into EVE as soon as possible. It’s the ultimate player choice, right? Either work hard for your spaceships, or spend some money to get things at random. It’s fair and balanced because everyone CAN buy loot boxes. It doesn’t mean you have to, but the option is there. We really want to model our system after the great success of Electronic Arts. They look Belgium right in the face and say ‘so what if we’re breaking your law, we’re a game company, damn it!’ It’s great. Now that we have Pearl Abyss and their legal teams backing us, I really think we can start swinging our weight around more.”

While Hilmar excitedly ran off to begin discussing loot box implementation in EVE, I was told by a CCP representative to expect an exciting series of patch notes relating to the new system soon. I, for one, can’t wait to spend 250 PLEX on a chance at unboxing a legendary Avatar, and instead receiving a skin for the Rokh.

2 COMMENTS

  1. This article simply looks like a sort of ridiculous shit coming out of a dinosaurus ass…. no comments….

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