Mister Monsieur, Eve Online Capsuleer and self styled “Jita Market Maestro” has called for a boycott against the developers of Eve Online, CCP Games, after receiving an unsolicited email containing a personalized video that he calls “a personal attack” on his “moral character”. Mister Monsieur has taken to Facebook as well, calling on all similarly attacked capsuleers to speak out against the “deliberate act of cyberbullying condoned by the larger EVE Online community”. In an online interview with Mr. Mister Monsieur where he reviewed the video, commenting on each section and its pointed attack against him and his play style. 

The first 8 seconds of the video show a Gila undocking from an Amarr station in a section of space Mister Monsieur has “never been!”. He continued by explaining: “Sure, I have dozens of Gila’s in market orders, but I have never flown one. Nor have I have ever been to Amarr! I haven’t even left Jita in 3 years!”

Then the welcome message of the video appeared:

    HELLO 

    Mister Monsieur

    you and your 0 alts have been

    up to a lot in EVE this year

This set him off again. “Who has time for Alts?! I’m too busy with playing the game to have alts, and here they are rubbing it in that I don’t pay them for multiple accounts! It’s money grubbing guilt tripping at its worst, I tell you!”

Next came the travel stats. Even though they were displayed on the side of a Bowhead, this did little to assuage the anger in Mister Monsieur: “Of course I made 0 jumps” he exclaimed, exasperation evident in his voice. “Yes, I only warped around a dozen times! Sure I only ever visited 1 system, it’s called J I T A. It’s where I live!”

The market transactions section seemed to be the only part of the video that didn’t completely apoplexy my guest: 

    You made 919,012 market transactions

    Your most traded item was

    PYERITE

    500,000,000,000 units

Yet even here, he found fault. “Where does it tell you that I am the top 1% of traders in Jita? Nowhere!”

The skill points section was a wash at only 300,000 SP gained. “Once you max out your Alpha ‘toon, you cannot get more skill points. They are back to guilt tripping again” Mister Monsieur said dismissively, not even looking at the screen. He did however tense up and become extremely rigid the next moment when the message flashed across the side of a Munnin:
    Based on your             You had

    ACTIVITY             Success with

    this year            PVP

The howl of rage emitted from Mister Monsieur caused me to instinctively grab my headset and thrust it at arms length from my ears. As the noise abated, I returned to hear him fitfully recounting the last time he undocked from Jita IV-4 to move trade goods between stations.

“I’m a market trader. I buy and sell. I only lost one ship, it was a Myrmidon, not a hauler! Who cargo scans a Myrmidon these days? I just wanted to fill the station-only buy order at planet VII. One Thousand skill injectors. Who wouldn’t? The mark-up was insane! Even if the minimum purchase amount was set at 1000, it was like printing ISK! I had to move them all at once. But can you blame me? And they got the pod too! Who pods in hi-sec? It was my special training clone, with the implants I couldn’t get without going Omega again. I hate this game. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it…”.

I watched as the video continued its montage of uncaring statistics. He had blapped zero ships, he had no frequent targets, his nemesis was someone no one had ever heard of, and he had been podded only once. 

By the time the on screen Gila warped off in a shower of bright fireworks my guest was sobbing quietly, unable to respond to further questions or offer additional comment.

claevyan

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