Save Our Galaxy, It’s The Only One We’ve Got!

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One look at the recent MER released from CCP Games, and you can clearly see that asteroids in some regions of the galaxy are on the verge of extinction; at least that’s what some New Eden space environmentalists would have you believe. The New Eden space protection advocacy group, Guardians Of Our Galaxy (GOOG) released a shocking paper this week detailing some highly theoretical armchair science on the rapid depletion of the respawning asteroid belts throughout New Eden. They claim that material can only respawn so many times before the code that is responsible for the construction of these belts becomes too “worn out”. They theorize that this galaxy can only “spawn” a set number of belts. “The galaxy was built to have an end. The citizens of New Eden hasten our very demise by needlessly hyper-mining these belts for the purpose of greed.” The paper goes on to say “The Goons, the PanFams, and the GOTGs need to be stopped! If they won’t do it on their own, then we or even Mother Galaxy will be forced to step in.”

We reached out to CCP Games to verify these claims, that one day our galaxy will leave us high and dry of respawning asteroid belts, but we received only one reply: “42”.

In an effort to get a religious leader’s take on this paper, we reached out to Max Singularity, the Space Pope, who had this to say: “It is in our best interest as humankind that we take in our greatest pleasures that space has to offer. Women, Men, booze, Pope Coins, and even explosions.”

This writer agrees with the Space Pope’s sentiments and hopes GOOG is wrong.