Bruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Aspen (AP) – As you know, after the latest megadump, Progodlegend has been cruisin for dank pow. He’s shredding the slopes with crunchy steez, and impressing snow bunnies with totes gnarly double stomps. Not surprisingly, our bro has been feeling pretty good after that taco bail in EvE Online, where he held a yard sale in front of all the gapers and lifties. One day, the broski felt a funny vibration in his swag pants, and a warm fuzzy feeling filled his soul. Only one person has his secret digits, and that is his good buddy Vily (pronounced WIL-EE)!

“Bruh…” Progod said, listening intently as Vily tuned him on some groovy deets, “Bruh…” Progod tossed his chatter board aside, and ran as quick as he could into the nearest log cabin, where they were serving warm choco milk with shots of hard apple cider. Progod plugged in his laptop, and stared at the amazing message from GM CranberryVodka. “Bruhhhhhhhh…”

“Good news! Your alliance has been salvaged.

A CONCORD squad specializing in deep-space asset recovery has recently recovered the fossilized remains of an alliance from a debris field in nullsec.

While the alliance suffered catastrophic damage, CONCORD agents were able to bring it back to a serviceable condition through use of experimental quantum space-time re-stabilization technology (a closely guarded CONCORD secret).

Close examination of the debris revealed that you were a member of the TAPI alliance before its untimely extinction. In accordance with CONCORD protocol 357.C regarding salvage of Capsuleer owned assets, your TAPI has been returned to its former standing.

-Sincerely, your friendly neighborhood CONCORD police squad.”

Piggles couldn’t believe it, and he quickly logged into EvE Online to see for himself, “Bruhhhhh….” Everything was back just the way it had been, with the griefer Goons nicely contained in 1DQ. The Tower of Legends stood tall in the floodplains of T5Z, and all the brave pawns were obediently waiting for Dunk Dinkle to sacrifice them upon an altar to the vanity of Gobbins. Suddenly, a plan of strategic brilliance began to foment in the deepest recesses of his mind. As he watched the brave noobies jump into 1DQ, pgl wrote Vily and Gobbins a quick message, “Broskis, we should unanchor all the Keepstars, and don’t tell NC. I’m gonna hit the slopes.”