Developers promise the code is “production-ready,” which is EVE speak for “we have no idea what this does either.”
REYKJAVIK – In a move that stunned the gaming industry and absolutely nobody who has ever read EVE Online patch notes, Fenris Creations announced Monday that it has open-sourced the Carbon engine, the same framework responsible for the game’s legendary time dilation, UI latency, and that one bug where your ship spins in the opposite direction if you look at it funny.
“This is a gift to the community,” said a Fenris Creations representative, speaking from an undisclosed server room currently on fire. “For twenty years, players have asked us what Carbon actually does. Now they can read the source code and learn that we were asking the same question.”
Within hours of the GitHub repository going live, Jita local chat – already a cesspool of scams, poetry, and existential dread – transformed into a torrent of fork notifications. Developers, pirates, and at least one person claiming to be a “certified blockchain visionary” began porting Carbon to platforms including but not limited to: a smart toaster, a Tamagotchi, a blockchain, another blockchain, and a blockchain on a smart toaster.
“I have rewritten the inventory system in Rust,” announced pilot Gorzakk ThePatient, who has not undocked since 2019. “It compiles. It does not run. But it compiles. This is what progress looks like.”
Other community projects include:
- A complete Carbon engine reimplementation written entirely in Excel macros
- A VR mod that renders station interiors as actual, explorable, soul-crushing bureaucracies
- A fork called “Carbon Zero” that removes all spaceships and is just a spreadsheet about Icelandic tax law
- A neural net trained to predict which module will randomly offline next; it currently outputs “yes”
Fenris Creations has already merged seventeen pull requests, twelve of which simply add comments reading “TODO: figure out what this does” next to functions with names like ProcessLegacyLegacyLegacy_02b_final_FINAL.
“We are excited to see what the community builds,” the representative added, while quietly pushing a commit that added a root password to .env.example. “The future of persistent world technology has never been more collaborative. Or more on fire.”
At press time, the #carbon-dev Discord channel had pinned a message from a senior Fenris engineer reading simply: “please stop.”
