True Face of Suitonia Revealed!


Hard-hitting journalist Evocationz Adhera tears the mask off of Legendary Low-Sec Lover and Null Sex Pilot Suitonia in a brutal interview, revealing a callous monster!

Once-fanboy Evocationz Adhera, clearly shaken by the discovery that fellow streamer and esteemed CSM member Suitonia, is not, at heart, the same capsuleer this community has come to know and love. The intrepid journalist presses forward even after discovering that Suitonia likes spreadsheets, to uncover a horrible truth: Suitonia is using a CSM position to advocate for Kestrel buffs!

That’s right, not content with meme-like fame, Suitonia is pushing for buffs to the Kestrel in order to justify an Alpha-Only version of the 47 page guide to the Kestrel frigate. Rumor has it that Suitonia is struggling to make ends meet after losing hundreds of thousands of ISK in recent PvP losses. An Alpha version of Suitonia’s Kestrel manifesto will likely prohibit undocking for several weeks, saving Suitonia as much as 100 million ISK that might otherwise be lost in solo PvP fights. Suitonia is also advocating for fighter nerfs. Why, you might ask? Suitonia recently lost a Vengeance to m0v3rs Dragonfly I. Coincidence, or callous revenge? You be the judge! Er…you judge for yourself…um…you decide!

Hoping to redeem Suitonia’s image, Evocationz turns to another topic: The community. Suitonia, famous for pick-up lines, and flirtatiously suggesting that “Eve is Easy,” is widely regarded as a positive and inspiring figure. Imagine the stunned expression on Evocationz’s face as Suitonia reveals the abhorrent position that children should not have ice cream! Suitonia goes on to suggest that Reddit is a good place to communicate, but the stunned journalist hurriedly concludes the interview before Suitonia can destroy any remaining illusion that this CSM member is a community-minded individual and talented streamer with a wry sense of humor.

Check out the entire brutal exposé here!