In order to keep up with the rising costs of managing an online fake news website, CEO OpusMagnum has made the executive decision to fire all staff, effective immediately. In place of thinking, mentally sound, mostly sober authors attempting to satirize the news and events of Eve Online, Eve Onion will now just focus on everything that is said on the Eve-related podcast, Talking In Stations, and then reprint it in text format.
Having heard the recent TiS episodes, it is no surprise that the Eve Onion is moving in this direction.
“I think this is a groundbreaking idea,” said OpusMagnum. “Rather than pay people to use their brains to think, reason, and communicate humorously, we can just not do that and save money. The more mistakes CCP makes, the more Matterall gets unhinged defending them. His every word has basically become the foundation of fake news and satire.”
Since Talking in Stations fills the needs of Eve Onion so perfectly, the news site will be able to operate with a small core team, consisting of a single person to do all the transcribing, editing, photoshop artwork, copy review, publishing, website maintenance, and advertising, and OpusMagnum, to take all the revenue and credit.
And if you fire yourself you also won;t have to pay yourself therefore saving EVEN MORE Mollah!
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