breaking

Eve Onion Wins The Scope Off the Hypernet, Declares Itself Galactic News Overlord

In a shocking turn of events, Eve Onion, the satirical news organization of New Eden, has won The Scope off the HyperNet Relay. The HyperNet, infamous for its “spontaneous...

ERB Lied, Dreds Died

J133358 At 1419 EVE time, Einstein-Rosen Brigade’s Fortizar was destroyed. This in itself—wormhole space being what it is—isn’t unusual. Sources inside the hole, though, paint...

NDA Leak: The Truth About the CSM Summit

Behind all the memes, myths, and misinformation surrounding the “free vacation to Iceland” enjoyed by players elected to the CSM, there is a hidden...

Hard Knocks’ Pets Attack Weebs Over Cat-Ears

On 15 June, Hard Knocks’ favorite pet SYNDE was lured by General Mobabi of the group “Ugandan Death Squad” with the promise of cat-ear...

Clone States Revival!

Greetings Capsuleers! Following the wildly successful Abandoned Fortress update, we are bringing back an older—but much loved—mechanic back into play. We know many are eager...

CCP Apologizes for Recent Server Issues—Players to be Compensated by not Getting Banned

Any hardened Eve Online player is all too familiar with the odd server hiccup and the occasional extra 10 minutes of existential dread with...

BREAKING: Auto-Cleaning of Minmatar Ships in Response to a Spate of Xenophobia to be Mandated

Last week, following a significant increase of Minmatar ship destruction across New Eden, CCP implemented an auto-clean mechanic each time a Minmatar ship docks...

CCP Extends Deadline for CSM Registration to May 13

Today, CCP pushed back the deadline for CSM registration by three days citing concerns that having less than 50 candidates in the running may...

Dreadnaughts: Length or Girth?

For what has for some time now been an unsaid rule across New Eden has finally been confirmed by the scientific method. In a...

Leaked: The Empress Announces a Halt in Construction of Low-sec Gate to Stain Amid Corona Virus Pandemic

Pain knows no bounds when it comes to the fortunes and desires of Capsuleers across New Eden. Following disruption by a mysterious and highly...

Eve Online Players Unknowingly Provide WHO With Ideal Social-Distancing Measures in Fight Against Corona Virus

Copenhagen, Denmark.  Director-General Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus during the now daily press briefing on COVID-19 virus status made a surprising change in international policy and guidelines...

After Explosive Start, Newly Minted Frighole Coalition Announces Plans to Invade Fraternity. Space After Discovery of Q003 Connection to Oasa

New Eden—some wormhole or another Today, several large Wormhole corporations announced the creation of a splinter organization: The Frighole Coalition. This is the greatest thing...

CCP Spider Announces New Premium Omega Account Guidelines, Tiered Reward System

Following the success of several reward campaigns like the Skilling Spree, CCP Games has announced a new tiered Omega Account system for premium users....

Icelandic Transport Authority cancels Fanfest: “There’s not enough beer this time”

Late today, Icelandic Transport Authority denied entry to all Eve Online nerds for the year of 2020, claiming that an outbreak of the beer...

Project Nova Is The Latest Success In Diverting Resources

In CCP’s continuing effort to throw away resources, the latest investor relations call with Pearl Abyss revealed Project Nova is officially shelved. Along with...

New Eden Surprised to Learn Wormhole Space Still Exists

CCP’s most recent update to Eve Online has confused and surprised the population of New Eden. “Wormhole’s still exist? I guess I didn’t know”...

CCP Releases First CSM “Caucuses”

CCP Games—in a widely criticized move—elected to try a new process for CSM voting this year. The sudden change shocked many capsuleers causing outrage...