Erutor

Mission Accomplished!

“I’m scared,” he whispers, “whiskey tango foxtrot… I’m scared…”A single tears slide silently down his cheek, tracing a path along his gentle smile lines....

CCP Staff Busted for Ongoing Scam

It started like so many other scams: a new player gets an unexpected message from someone offering “help.” “I decided to try Eve recently and...

CCP Commits to a Date for Logi on Killmails

Inside sources disclosed today that CCP has internally committed to a date for including logistics on killmails. Previous leadership misunderstood the request for logi...

Hilmar Leaks Plans for “Dancing in Stations”

The door to the EVE Online Captain’s Quarters closed two years ago this August. Sobs gradually transitioned to merely the occasional sigh, and the...

CCP Caves to Demands for Longer Downtime

It seemed like a good idea at the time. As is so often the case, only time can tell how the EVE Online community...

Manic Velocity Disappears, New Eden Approaches Balance

Outrage flared with the discovery that Upwell Consortium Infomorph Psychologists not only researched, but fully implemented a mechanism to farm skillpoints from clones resting...

EVE Player Inspired by Indigestion to Run for CSM

“I make a lot of memes, and I make a lot of GIFs,” the candidate announced, “but I’m not a meme candidate. I like...

Triglavian Invasion Cancelled?

Chaos erupted in CCP’s Reykjavik headquarters as the news broke. “The invasion is cancelled?” “What!?” “Can they do that?” “But I just finished the...

WINGSPAN Delivery Services Flatlines After a Flurry of Flux

Every empire falls. It's not a question of if; only of why, how, and when. CEO Chance Ravinne, the visionary founder of the famous munitions...

The End is Near

Hell has frozen over. Soontm has arrived. The stars are aligned. The end is near. Two portents of the end of EVE Online intersect, signaling the imminent arrival...

New Line of Ship Skins Presents a Sticky Situation

EVE Onion reporters obtained evidence this week of a new line of Super Kerr-Induced Nanocoatings (SKINs) coming Soontm. Although the manufacturer is redacted from...

reddit Ramps Up Reee for MOABDB

Denizens of /r/eve respond with alacrity as CCP_Falcon stirs the pot with his announcement of “the mother of all balance devblogs.” Goonswarm Federation’s /u/mr_eti...

CCP Guard’s Final Farewell

Inside sources obtained an early draft of CCP Guard’s final farewell song, as he decides that even the music industry is more stable than...

Amazon Changes Tack on Video as CCP Joins Market

Amazon looked intent on becoming a powerful player in the video market by allowing people to sign up for a wide variety of services...

CCP Goes All-In on Battle Against Bots

Driven by player reports and forum screeeee, CCP continues to escalate the war against bots. In early 2018, CCP announced fewer “strikes” and increased...

WiNGSPAN Delivery Services Promoted to “Real Wormhole Corp”

CONCORD’s  war dec changes across New Eden is driving a significant uptick in structure transfer ownership changes. The changes are twofold. First, only those...