“This is capsuleer Richard N. Bolles piloting Thorax-class cruiser ‘Rigid’ requesting docking permission.”
“Docking request accepted. Welcome back. We’ve been looking forward to your visit. Please proceed to the docking perimeter and allow one moment for us to prioritize your docking request.”
Captain Bolles activated his camera drones, admiring the way the station lights reflected off the bronze skin of his vessel’s head. His vessel looked none the worse for wear after his recent encounter with a trap citadel. It had been quite the surprise to discover Rigid blocked as a Megathron dropped into sight to bump his vessel just as he approached to dock. Bolles feinted towards the port, loosing a farewell volley from his overheated blasters as he aligned past the ‘thron and warped off before it could lock him down. Now, finally, after checking several dives in the region, he was at last on the verge of docking successfully. And what a station this was, too. The towers of the pirate Keepstar loomed large over the docking bay, and its skin glistened. Captain Bolles wanted nothing more than to dock and deliver the contents of his carefully wrapped package.
“This is capsuleer Richard N. Bolles piloting Thorax-class cruiser ‘Rigid’ requesting docking permission.”
“Control to capsuleer. Docking request accepted. We heard you the first time. Please allow one moment for us to prioritize your docking request.”
“What seems to be the delay, control?”
“Captain, we…uh…we have a Nereus at the docking bay. There seems to be some confusion about docking bay access. She is bumping the bay, but not entering.”
“Can you tell her to move it? I need to get this thing docked. I’ve got a load I am eager to deliver.”
“I’m sorry, Captain, but the Nereus pilot seems to be having some difficulty with comms at the moment. And, uh…she has full structure administrator rights. You really want to wait patiently.”
Captain Bolles took his camera drones out of orbit and sent them over to the Nereus. “Double-A” the digital nameplate announced. The Nereus barely moved, maintaining position against the docking bay, shields pulsing slightly as the ship approached the bay, bumped gently against the top of the bay shroud, then retreated only to immediately return.
After several minutes, the Nereus turned to align away, then vanished from sight.
“Docking request granted. Welcome to Joyland, Captain Bolles. Oh, and do be careful; we seem to have had a fluid router leak, and the docking bay is surprisingly slick.”
Excena Foer took a deep breath, then waved her hand, sending the trashy holo-script flying out of view.
“No. I would rather willingly drink esophageal nanomachinery again than narrate this drivel. I was a dancer. I am a poet. I am the familiar voice of Aura anchoring capsuleers in their darkness. But I will not be used to satisfy your prurient fantasies.”
“Clause 34, madam,” a slimy voice replied.
“What?”
“Please see Clause 34. You see, we are not asking your permission. In accepting the contract to digitize your persona for capsuleer training and services, rule 34 automatically applies. We are not asking you anything. We are simply offering you the opportunity to become familiar with the pilot episode of Clear Skies 32: Docking Requests. And you should, really, because not only will your voice usher our audience into ecstasies, your likeness in Aura’s House of Earthly Delights in Whiterun is already…very popular.”
The shadowy figure threw back his head and laughed as Excena Foer reached to terminate their connection. “I used to be a cultist, then I took an arrow to the knee, as they say. I may have been stricken from the Book of Records, but when they see the things you do, you’re…heh…heh heh…heh heh heh…going down!”
