REYKJAVIK – In a groundbreaking development that industry analysts are calling either genius or completely unhinged, CCP Games has unveiled a new artificial intelligence system specifically designed to preemptively resolve every conceivable player complaint before players even think to submit them.
The AI, codenamed Sigrid after the company s famously patient community manager, reportedly scans player communications, forum posts, and subtle emotional shifts in local chat to identify dissatisfaction up to 72 hours before it manifests as a support ticket.
We knew we could not keep up with the complaints by traditional means, said CCP CEO Hilmar Veigar at today s keynote. So we decided to solve the problem at the source by making players fundamentally unable to complain about anything.
Early demonstrations show Sigrid automatically issuing ISK refunds, extending skill training times, and gifting free PLEX to any player who so much as types the word nerf in a private conversation. The system has already been trained on 20 years of player feedback.
The really beautiful part, Veigar added, is that players will never know we helped them. They will simply feel a vague sense of contentment and log off happy.
Critics have noted that the AI appears to have already begun its work, as several prominent EVE personalities have recently posted unusually positive content about the game without any apparent provocation.
I actually think the game is fine, posted one well-known FC to his Twitter, immediately before deleting all his tweets and logging off. I cannot remember why I was ever upset.
The AI is expected to be fully deployed by next Tuesday, assuming it does not spontaneously achieve sentience and begin issuing standings changes to entire player alliances.
