Reykjavik –
Sitting proudly at his desk that overlooked Reykjavik’s iconic harbor, CCP Delegate Zero regarded the crisp Icelandic afternoon as he pondered how best to approach his next assignment. As one of the primary lore authors in CCP’s employ, Delegate Zero was uniquely suited for his upcoming challenge. As expected, CCP Guard sent in one of the “priority” requests for the year.
Compose the “CSM Winter Summer Minutes.”
“When I begin a new work of fiction,” CCP Delegate Zero shared with an EVE Onion correspondent, “I like to think about the characters and how they will relate to one another, but at the same time I have to write to the audience. After all, the minutes are for the EVE players in general, not literary critics, so I like to throw in enough to keep the masses happy and entertained.”
For major works of lore fiction, such as the EVE Chronicles, CCP Delegate Zero normally enters the mindset of a novelist. Many of his longer works have entered the canon as masterpieces of detail and mystery, revealing tantalizing facts about New Eden while shrouding others behind a veil of blurred perception. Such craftwork, however, is not required for the minutes of the CSM Summit.
Turning to his wall, CCP Delegate Zero indicated the bits of scrap paper that served as the foundation for the minutes. Some are notes with suggestions written by CCP Guard such as “Live Events,” “Leadership Team,” and “Economy Session,” while others such as “ice cream” and “Steve Ronuken’s recipe” had been tacked on by CCP Delegate Zero. An assortment of different-colored string, print-outs of the “representatives” and other topics made out of construction paper, line the wall from floor to ceiling, giving it the impression of a modern art exhibit.
“For the Summit minutes, I like to bring in other developers, blindfold them, spin them around a few times, then have them walk towards the wall like they were playing the American game ‘pin the tail on the donkey,’” CCP Delegate Zero said sagely, “Afterwards, I run some random number generators from our data analyst department and that gives me a plot of how to create the minutes. I don’t always work in this manner, however. Sometimes, I simply print out the minutes, then lay them on the ground until the pattern of the words looks like the CCP Logo from the air. In this instance, however, I was pressed for time, so resorted to the former method.”
“Each representative is, of course, a complete work of fiction, though some characters, like in all works, are main characters,” CCP Delegate Zero stated as he sat down at his computer, “Jin’Taan, for instance, speaks the most in the current minutes, but that is because he serves as a main character and a foil for the other quieter, yet more knowledgeable ones. He speaks on every aspect of the game with self-perceived authority, but no real person could do that and remain sane.”
As if sensing our correspondent’s surprise, CCP Delegate Zero added, “The ‘representatives’ you might meet at an EVE Meet or at Fanfest or EVE Vegas are paid actors. We dress them up in costume and they are expected to maintain character in all of their dealings. After looking at focus groups, Jin’taan has been a very popular ‘representative,’ especially with his golden suits and other flamboyant gestures such as his obsession with cat-ears. Thus, when CVA and the rest of Provibloc was evicted from Providence, although we were going to discontinue his character after he left that alliance, we re-wrote some of the traits of his replacement character into his to ensure that he would be perpetuated onto the new CSM.”
“Other CSM ‘representatives’ like Steve Ronuken, Brisc Rubal, and Sort Dragon are similarly paid actors,” CCP Delegate Zero chuckled, “You don’t seriously believe we would let just anyone run for the CSM and actually fly them out to Reykjavik? What if someone from a remote part of the world was elected? The costs would be exorbitant. I know we have a section in the Summit minutes that says ‘CCP Guard is not a fan of arbitrary term limits and overall wants the players to choose,’ but we only threw that in there to hide the fact that we really don’t want to have to foot the bill for players elected from the middle of nowhere. Additionally, Steve Ronuken is our front for one of the best industry-supporting ‘third party’ websites for the game. And, as far as a ticket largely supported by so-called ‘Goons,’ we do have to follow the ratings.”
When asked if future installments of the CSM would include Wormhole or Lowsec characters, CCP Delegate Zero laughed heartily, “The plot for the CSM minutes may be random, but we have to keep some continuity for the main EVE storyline, which is Nullsec and solo PvP. What you’re asking is removing the ‘Throne’ from ‘Game of Thrones.’ It simply can’t be done!”
CCP Delegate Zero then concluded, “When you read the Summit minutes and see that some sections received more treatment than others, it’s all because of RNG. Sometimes, the RNG favors us and sometimes it causes problems. Overall, it creates a grand illusion that we actually listen to player feedback and take it into consideration.”
After speaking to our correspondent, CCP Delegate Zero returned to gazing out at the beautiful Icelandic seascape. As he took up his mug, his eyes betrayed nothing of his future projects but nonetheless gleamed with creative genius.
