Reykjavik – According to eyewitness testimony taken moments after the incident occurred, CCP Mannbjorn, the Executive Producer of CCP Games, declared “Greed is bad!” before forcefully deleting the Vexor Navy Issue from the most recent line of police SKINs in the New Eden Store.
The wildly popular SKIN lineup had been prepared for some time and was set to feature all three “Vexor” hulls as well as the Nyx-class supercarrier before CCP Mannbjorn burst into the Art Design studio, reached over the shoulder of the Senior Graphics Designer, and deleted the police SKIN assets for the Vexor Navy Issue from CCP’s databases.
“Greed is bad!” CCP Mannbjorn reportedly repeated, then rushed down the hallway to confront CCP Falcon before the Senior Community Manager could post the associated devblog.
“He kept on repeating ‘greed is bad, greed is bad,’” recounted CCP Falcon, who was nursing a cup of tea with a safety blanket draped over his shoulders while CCP’s overworked security team took statements from witnesses. “After that,” CCP Falcon continued, “He just kept on running through the office screaming the same thing.”
“It comes as no surprise to me that something like this would occur,” says former Executive Producer CCP Seagull: “After watching the company from the sidelines over the last eight months, it’s been clear to me that the environment of greed has metastasized throughout CCP to a point of unsustainability. Between skill injectors, Galaxy Pack sales, and overpriced SKINs, there was going to be a point that someone would snap beneath all of that greed.”
Members of the CCP marketing team were disappointed in CCP Mannbjorn’s performance. Speaking on condition of anonymity on the way to an emergency session of the marketing team, one of the executives shared: “We were going over the expected profits of releasing a SKIN for the most widely-used cruiser hull in all of Null security space based on time in space. The Vexor Navy Issue is very popular. We were set to make a fortune—all of the graphs, estimates, and projections showed we were going to make a killing. A low-priced, popular SKIN for one of the most widespread ships in the game? It was absolutely genius. But CCP Mannbjorn just couldn’t take it once he saw the numbers.”
Wealthy players—derisively called “whales” by the rest of the EVE community—as well as botting players were equally dismayed and took to the streets in protest of CCP Mannbjorn’s actions. “CCP Mannbjorn has to go!” chanted a number of players outside of CCP Headquarters in Reykjavik. “Look, I octuple box Vexor Navy Issues for twelve hours a day using a script. I don’t always look at my monitors, but when I do, I would prefer to see some awesome police lights on my ships and not the weird green camouflage or that glittering SKIN or whatever.”
Unfortunately, the hopes of these desperate players were dashed when a spokesperson for CCP addressed the crowd, “I regret to inform you all that the police SKIN for the Vexor Navy Issue cannot be recovered, but as a token of our good will to our most loyal SKIN customers, we will be issuing, ahead of schedule, additional low-resolution SKINs for the Gila starting at the low price of 980 PLEX.”
