JITA – In a stunning development that has sent shockwaves through New Eden, intelligence analysts have confirmed the existence of a devastating new weapon system capable of neutralizing even the most powerful Capital ships in the game.
The weapon, informally nicknamed “Bazooka” by witnesses, successfully neutralized a Ragnarok-class Titan belonging to a pilot who had been playing for exactly seven days.
“I honestly can’t believe this,” said one analyst who wished to remain anonymous. “We’ve spent years trying to get CCP to balance Titans, and some guy with a week of experience and a ship called ‘Bazooka’ does what the entire playerbase has been asking for.”
Sources close to the victim reveal the young pilot had “more guts than sense,” dropping an estimated 50K+ PLEX to fund the Titan purchase before the dramatic loss. Industry experts are now questioning everything they thought they knew about New Eden’s economic fundamentals.
“Why build a coalition when you can just… yolo?” read one highly-upvoted comment on the official forums.
CCP has not yet responded to requests for comment, though insiders suggest they’re “very interested” in speaking with the Bazooka pilot.
