Suitonia Harasses Innocents, Taunts Plex Orbiters, Scolds Tama (S.H.*.T.P.O.S.T.)


Suitonia, previously exposed by Evocationz Adhera and this prestigious and unbiased news outlet as a callous monster opposed to ice cream, is engaged in a new offensive on the denizens of New Eden’s Low Security space.

Pouring his CSM-derived unassailable wealth into 4 million ISK Thrashers, Suitonia and his army of thugs in Aggressive Feeding set out with the specific objective of annoying mission runners and PLEX orbiters in Dal, and of ensuring “every fight would be bloody.” Whelping scores of Thrashers in order to support his desire to smug post and “have fun,” Suitonia’s efforts have turned the quiet mission system of Dal into a chaotic mess of wrecks.

Nearly tripling the number of ships lost in Tama over a 24 hour period, Suitonia taunted Tama fighters, and dwellers, saying: “Tama is for scrubs.” A critical analyst watching SCRUBS. alliance questioned this assertion:

SCRUBS. is high on life after having partnered with out-of-corp alt Telvar to destroy a 1B ISK WiNGSPAN Delivery Network Proteus in Fasse. They have been in Fasse since completing their conquest of Null Security space by whoring on a Bjorn Bee kill. Why would they want to go to Tama, when they just got to Fasse, and are enjoying success here destroying WiNGSPAN Delivery Services agents consorting with Rogue Drones? I think Suitonia’s off-base with this one.

Bot Aspirants of Dal, accustomed to orbiting complex capture points in warp-core stabilized Ventures order to defend them from loneliness, are furious. “As capsuleers, we pay a premium for our pilot’s license, and we deserve the right to rake in risk-free ISK,” one d-plex devotee ranted. “Our defensive units need comfort and encouragement. How can we deliver the same if we are constantly harassed by combat ships when we are defending our complexes?” Rixx Javix, who specializes in Warp Core Stabilizer sales and installation, is rumored to be similarly frustrated. “I don’t know what to do now,” Rixx was reportedly overheard as he addressed a collection of empty shot glasses. “My entire identity is tied up in the WCS business; I may have to turn to piracy just to support my children if this madness grows to consume more of Low Security space.”

Mission runners expressed similar frustration. “I didn’t join Faction Warfare to fight capsuleers!” one missioner said on condition of anonymity, “why can’t Aggressive Feeding just leave me alone to shoot rats? I’m here to rake in the ridiculous wealth available by subcontracting my mission activity and minimizing my travel and combat time to ensure maximum productivity, not risk losing a ship on gate or at my mission beacon. It’s not fair.”

Will “fun” win the day in Low Security space, or will the luster of combat fade, and Suitonia’s grass-roots effort to create content wither and die to once again make room for ISK generating activities? Only time will tell.


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